March 29th, 2005
|09:47 pm - This Pain is Temporary.|
i have to make this decision and know that it's the right thing to do. there is no reason for me to be here any longer. there is nothing here for me, and never will be. the only reason for me to stay would be to spend time with him, which is unrealistic and stupid. there is no future for us. if i stayed, it would be me losing $340 to waste time on someone that a. i'm not even with anymore and b. only contacts me once in a while now....
and i'll be on campus all the time anyway, and he can come to ann arbor if he ever decides to spend time with me. i'll be close by still. and i need to get over him and move on and realize that even if we were still together it would be a waste of time and energy because it has to be a secret, it takes too much for so little time, it's too awful being pitted against other girls, and it can never become serious even if none of these factors existed. there is nothing here on which i can rely. there never will be, and there's no use in staying.
this pain is temporary. there is nothing that distinguishes this pain from the other pain i've overcome many times before. i can do what kate said before and skip the present. that's what i'll have to do. just skip the present.
now for lighter things:
-"BRENDA! YOU FORGOT YOUR LUNCH!!!"
- brenda quoting someone's lj in a loud voice to mock it: "he's a jerk, but i'd still suck his dick" (Jeffery's shocked face in the window)
- em PAC
- angie: "i was the ONLY ONE that had to do that on the way back from john carrol..."
- "you didn't even bring anything!" (pause) "..... i brought my bo-dy?"
anyone got words of solace for me? leave them here....
Current Mood: crushed
and I do think that I've finally figured out who it is.
Sorry about it Emms, I don't know what to tell ya otherwise.
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I read Nickel and Dimed and reccomended it to many...